Tonight I got off of work late. I took some time to relax on the couch, watching reruns of The Cosby Show, while the cool spring, evening breeze detours from it’s course into my living room. Upon getting home, my thoughts drifted to middle school. I had a crush on this girl, who would have never gone out with me in a million years, but the music of Third Eye Blind helped me cope. There is something about experiencing the music of the 90’s as a background to your life. Needless to say, I thought that I would “Never Let Her Go”, but you have to already have someone to hold them. The “Blue” album by Third Eye Blind floored me the first time I heard it. The lyrics were over my head, by I thought I was old and mature. I also thought I was ready for a “relationship”, but where would I take her? When you’re that young, you hardly have any likes and dislikes; you like everything. You haven’t become a closed-minded adult, who has been slightly worn down by life. Sometimes I wish I could go back and relive those care-free days going to school until 3:30, playing guitar for four hours after school, and falling asleep to the oldies station (best of the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s – not the 80’s or 90’s) playing artists like The Temptations, Paul Revere & The Raiders, Chicago, The Association, Smokey Robinson, and The Turtles.
Nothing happened with this girl. I never got the guts to tell her how I felt, mostly because one of my other friends asked her out and she accepted his gesture; at least, for the next 48 hours. It’s obsolete now, because my feelings for her died many years ago. Somewhere around the age of 15 I realized that I had nothing to offer her, really. I was just a kid mesmerized by a fun girl with pretty eyes. But I learned a lot. I learned to speak up, or forever hold your peace, unless you are sure that by not adding unnecessary words would keep the peace. This was one of those situations. By adding words, I would have butchered the great memories I have of being smitten and too nervous to say anything. Every boy or girl needs at least one memory where they were so nervous when their crush walked into the party, that they drank kool-aid constantly. When you prayed to the Lord a prayer like this – “Lord, please let us play ‘Honey if you love me…’ (a game where a girl sits on a guys lap, or vice-versa, and says, ‘Honey, if you love me, you’ll smile’. If you smile your ‘it’ and you have to do the same thing to someone else). And let us watch Dumb and Dumber (at the 23rd party in a row), so she can sit next to me.” Pathetic, but true. I guess when it comes to “love”, we’re all a little pathetic.
All this to say, it’s funny what Third Eye Blind and a cool Spring, evening breeze can remind you of.